On one of the forums that we belong to we ran a contest to gather camouflage stories. The following was submitted by Babyseal, I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.
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I was trying to hunt down this enormous porcupine that kept fighting with my friend’s dog leading to several expensive vet bills because the conservation officers wouldn't come out. She lived alone in the middle of nowhere northern Alberta and her dog was her only companion. I had a plan. I put on my own camouflage and had a rifle to match. Late one afternoon, I crept out into this forest that she said it always ran away into and decided to park myself in a good spot to watch this game trail I suspected it of using. There was lots of loose leaf little all over the ground so I got set up real comfy in a good spot so I wouldn’t make any noise.
Well, like I often have to do after long periods of sitting and waiting in the cold, I had to pee. Badly! I didn’t want to because I would have to take my eyes off the trail and it would create more scent and noise to give me away, but it wasn’t a matter of choice any more. So I laid my rifle down, took a few steps back into a little dip behind a large tree and began to relieve myself, well away from the rifle, but where I could still sort of see the trail.
Just as I was finishing up, I heard a rustling through the fallen leaves and guess what came tromping down the trail. You guessed it. The porcupine. I was quite excited, but I silently zipped up and knew that this was going to be a simple and quick matter. I was wrong. I looked at the ground to find a quiet path back to my rifle, except, where was my rifle!?!
I instantly flushed red as I realized that it was somewhere right in front of me, but I couldn’t see it! Pride over the good camo job was not present. Only embarrassment over the situation and stress over failing to get the porcupine washed over me as I crouched there searching for my gun. The pressure continued to build.
I tried, so quietly to find that rifle, but inevitably, the critter heard me and went trundling off into the woods. I was so mad. Darkness was coming and I felt torn between chasing the damn thing with a stick and finding the rifle. But I knew that if I didn’t find it right away, I might never find my rifle. I was so mad at myself that I could have screamed. My blood pressure must have been spiking because I felt stressed! I scanned and searched but I couldn’t find the damn rifle anywhere, and I knew it was right by me somewhere!
After a few moments of spinning I calmed myself down and started to search methodically for it. I actually had to do a grid search of the ground in an area of about 5 square meters to find it. All told it must have taken me about 20 minutes to find the rifle in a spot I must have looked at about 20 times. I can not describe the mix of relief and embarrassment I felt when I FINALY picked up the outline of the barrel in the leaves. Picking the rifle up, and brushing the leaves off of it, I went home in shame. I vowed to buy a sling for the damn thing tomorrow.
When I got back to the house where my elderly friend and her loyal dog were waiting with hot coffee, she asked me how it went. I lied. Sort of....
I told her I couldn't find anything.
I guess the guilt of what really happened camouflaged the lie.
And that is my story about camouflage. Don't let those camo guns out of your sight!
Babyseal
